








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1274 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1580 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1234 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1090 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,351 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blu | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | mrcs :> | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | axel | 52% | 65 |
| #4 | Vasion | 51% | 79 |
| #5 | aura | 50% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vasion | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | aura | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | axel | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Blu | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Blu2 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vasion | 389 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | Blu | 372 | 0.35 | 13 min |
| #3 | axel | 247 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Blu2 | 90 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | aura | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrcs :> | +2.88 | 89 | 35 |
| #2 | aura | +2.03 | 70 | 39 |
| #3 | axel | +1.60 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | Vasion | -0.15 | 58 | 70 |
| #5 | Blu | -0.23 | 61 | 72 |





