








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3342 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3907 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1830 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2283 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,068,024 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrcs :> | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | Blu | 59% | 64 |
| #3 | Vasion | 59% | 99 |
| #4 | aura | 56% | 100 |
| #5 | your abusive stepdad | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrcs :> | +3.98 | 93 | 40 |
| #2 | axel | +3.16 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | aura | +1.79 | 73 | 40 |
| #4 | Vasion | +0.19 | 58 | 71 |
| #5 | Blu | -0.12 | 58 | 73 |





