








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 127 | 9% |
| Smokes | 446 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 268 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 650 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,905 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | potato | 43% | 58 |
| #7 | Meow | 42% | 113 |
| #8 | Out_Teddy | 41% | 41 |
| #9 | Camo | 41% | 41 |
| #10 | ¿?Fishy¿? | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ЗkywaIker | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Meow | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Nullkisir | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | potato | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Meow_123 | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ЗkywaIker | 497 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Meow | 167 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nullkisir | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ¿?Fishy¿? | 95 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #5 | Camo | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |





