








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1249 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1014 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1589 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1022 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,760 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markenzo | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | ZoTac | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | jL aklasis sunus | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | ℝ𝟛𝟛ℕ | 55% | 60 |
| #5 | s | 52% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ℝ𝟛𝟛ℕ | 55% | 60 |
| #5 | s | 52% | 73 |
| #6 | meowmeow23 | 51% | 37 |
| #7 | Buuny | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | z1g | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ℝ𝟛𝟛ℕ | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | meowmeow23 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | jL aklasis sunus | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | ZoTac | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℝ𝟛𝟛ℕ | 144 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | meowmeow23 | 135 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | ZoTac | 56 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | s | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | markenzo | 46 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meowmeow23 | +4.18 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | markenzo | +2.60 | 62 | 53 |
| #3 | Whinnie | +2.01 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | s | +1.53 | 81 | 31 |
| #5 | ZoTac | +0.62 | 64 | 48 |





