








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 978 | 40% |
| Smokes | 534 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 274 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,069 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goofy ah | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Yellow Flash | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | liam | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Fallen | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | canplayr | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | TeXaSs^ | 56% | 9 |
| #9 | ✪ задница69 | 55% | 20 |
| #10 | ItsWillis | 52% | 21 |
| #11 | stazzz | 48% | 27 |
| #12 | Akaizy | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stazzz | 8 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | ItsWillis | 6 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | ✪ задница69 | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Akaizy | 3 | 0.0175 |
| #5 | Yellow Flash | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ze pump | 211 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | Yellow Flash | 106 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ задница69 | 105 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | stazzz | 92 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | goofy ah | 90 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallen | +3.87 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | Yellow Flash | +3.53 | 93 | 59 |
| #3 | stazzz | +1.65 | 86 | 55 |
| #4 | liam | +1.43 | 92 | 65 |
| #5 | ✪ задница69 | +0.99 | 81 | 52 |





