








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2241 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2851 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1570 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2437 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,725,423 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyt0_o | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ERKAN gmbh | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | xEnoR' | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | SKTLS | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Kisuke | 1 | 0.0006 |





