








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 643 | 18% |
| Smokes | 866 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 960 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $651,648 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ËχŦ1ΠĊŦ- | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Mako | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Maynaise | 60% | 84 |
| #4 | Vellum | 55% | 94 |
| #5 | alruro | 54% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Vellum | 55% | 94 |
| #5 | alruro | 54% | 80 |
| #6 | Literal_Arm | 51% | 89 |
| #7 | jacques de gatineau | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | Emopi | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Literal_Arm | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Maynaise | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | jacques de gatineau | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Emopi | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Vellum | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maynaise | 348 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Literal_Arm | 331 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | alruro | 287 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Vellum | 226 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | jacques de gatineau | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mako | +2.22 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Vellum | +1.95 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | Maynaise | +1.66 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | ❀八月重逢樱花落❀ | +0.98 | 76 | 47 |
| #5 | ËχŦ1ΠĊŦ- | +0.45 | 79 | 56 |





