








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2556 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2141 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1974 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2788 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,356,721 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ËχŦ1ΠĊŦ- | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | Maynaise | 55% | 136 |
| #3 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | alruro | 53% | 143 |
| #5 | Vellum | 52% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ❀八月重逢樱花落❀ | 51% | 89 |
| #7 | jacques de gatineau | 48% | 88 |
| #8 | Emopi | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | veyd | 45% | 20 |
| #10 | alex | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maynaise | 18 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | jacques de gatineau | 16 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Vellum | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ❀八月重逢樱花落❀ | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | ËχŦ1ΠĊŦ- | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alruro | 571 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | Maynaise | 563 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | Vellum | 370 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | jacques de gatineau | 170 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | ❀八月重逢樱花落❀ | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vellum | +1.98 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | Maynaise | +1.54 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | ❀八月重逢樱花落❀ | +0.79 | 74 | 46 |
| #4 | jacques de gatineau | +0.40 | 71 | 46 |
| #5 | alruro | -0.01 | 82 | 64 |





