








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 875 | 22% |
| Smokes | 786 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1476 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 866 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,492,733 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moto Moto | 45% | 149 |
| #2 | skuuge | 43% | 35 |
| #3 | cracker got a ar | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | mikkelmhg | 34% | 138 |
| #5 | Torben | 34% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikkelmhg | 56 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | cracker got a ar | 34 | 0.0353 |
| #3 | Moto Moto | 25 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Mugge | 25 | 0.0136 |
| #5 | Torben | 23 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikkelmhg | 195 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Moto Moto | 124 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | cracker got a ar | 124 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Torben | 114 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | skuuge | 102 | 0.14 | 2 min |





