








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 165 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1669 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3511 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2558 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1700 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,762,108 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1790 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Therapist RUSKI=TROLL | 58 | 0.0261 |
| #2 | Speki | 10 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | ♛ Oko ♛ | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Kiki | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | dana.kavo18 CaseOpening.com | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Therapist RUSKI=TROLL | 253 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kiki | 175 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♛ Oko ♛ | 166 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | dana.kavo18 CaseOpening.com | 26 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Speki | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |





