








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 664 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 377 | 57% |
| Smokes | 141 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 75 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 71 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $81,832 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | high estrogen son | 50% | 36 |
| #2 | tabo | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | 808 crashout | 37% | 19 |
| #4 | walmart lean | 33% | 15 |
| #5 | Scyphax | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 33% | 39 | ||
| #7 | benadryl | 32% | 25 |
| 32% | 25 | ||
| 31% | 26 | ||
| #10 | johnny dharma | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 30 | 0.0628 | ||
| 18 | 0.0403 | ||
| #3 | high estrogen son | 17 | 0.0284 |
| #4 | benadryl | 11 | 0.0253 |
| #5 | johnny dharma | 11 | 0.0374 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scyphax | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | 808 crashout | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | high estrogen son | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | benadryl | 31 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | high estrogen son | +4.38 | 78 | 37 |
| #2 | benadryl | +3.10 | 82 | 38 |
| #3 | johnny dharma | +1.79 | 76 | 27 |
| #4 | 808 crashout | +1.12 | 51 | 41 |
| #5 | tabo | +0.26 | 47 | 16 |





