








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 894 | 21% |
| Smokes | 852 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1592 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 937 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $200,734 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ LX | 47% | 36 |
| #2 | NorthBeach | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | Warlock | 44% | 73 |
| #4 | Jord | 44% | 117 |
| #5 | John_DerMacht | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Warlock | 44% | 73 |
| #4 | Jord | 44% | 117 |
| #5 | John_DerMacht | 39% | 38 |
| #6 | K1ckZ | 26% | 19 |
| #7 | AKEX | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John_DerMacht | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | ☭ LX | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Jord | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Warlock | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | K1ckZ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jord | 226 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | ☭ LX | 133 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | John_DerMacht | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Warlock | 86 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | NorthBeach | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorthBeach | +2.67 | 65 | 51 |
| #2 | Jord | +1.53 | 58 | 64 |
| #3 | John_DerMacht | +0.90 | 59 | 67 |
| #4 | dany2k | +0.23 | 67 | 54 |
| #5 | ☭ LX | -0.04 | 67 | 55 |





