








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3627 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3622 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 9313 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 2655 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,624,051 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LBK | 52% | 133 |
| #2 | John_DerMacht | 51% | 557 |
| #3 | Alvii`? | 48% | 370 |
| #4 | AKEX | 46% | 148 |
| #5 | Jord | 45% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LBK | 52% | 133 |
| #2 | John_DerMacht | 51% | 557 |
| #3 | Alvii`? | 48% | 370 |
| #4 | AKEX | 46% | 148 |
| #5 | Jord | 45% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John_DerMacht | 29 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Alvii`? | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | LBK | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | AKEX | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Jord | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John_DerMacht | 1319 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #2 | LBK | 385 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Alvii`? | 356 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | AKEX | 182 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jord | 157 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorthBeach | +2.65 | 62 | 53 |
| #2 | John_DerMacht | +1.69 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | LBK | +1.60 | 48 | 74 |
| #4 | Jord | +0.40 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Alvii`? | -3.13 | 27 | 44 |





