








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1085 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 174 matches | ||
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 137 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12266 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8588 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 12550 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 10351 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,588,089 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3723 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LBK | 51% | 197 |
| #2 | NorthBeach | 51% | 557 |
| #3 | Alvii`? | 48% | 225 |
| #4 | Jord | 48% | 178 |
| #5 | xyz◕‿◕ | 46% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorthBeach | 61 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | LBK | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | xyz◕‿◕ | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Alvii`? | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Jord | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LBK | 577 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | NorthBeach | 558 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jord | 344 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | xyz◕‿◕ | 313 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Alvii`? | 216 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorthBeach | +2.36 | 61 | 52 |
| #2 | John_DerMacht | +1.56 | 63 | 65 |
| #3 | LBK | +1.29 | 48 | 74 |
| #4 | Jord | +0.52 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | xyz◕‿◕ | +0.50 | 50 | 54 |





