








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1382 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2146 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1278 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1437 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,983 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ma Long Kok | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | Vesy | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Ligi | 51% | 74 |
| #4 | Glokerr_ | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Happy meal | 49% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Vesy | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Ligi | 51% | 74 |
| #4 | Glokerr_ | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Happy meal | 49% | 97 |
| #6 | AK | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happy meal | 26 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Ligi | 13 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Ma Long Kok | 7 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | AK | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Vesy | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happy meal | 323 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | AK | 204 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ligi | 169 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ma Long Kok | 128 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Vesy | 102 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vesy | +3.02 | 69 | 66 |
| #2 | Glokerr_ | +2.25 | 87 | 35 |
| #3 | gulpin #SARATOGAPEEK | +2.06 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | Ma Long Kok | +1.43 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | Ligi | +1.09 | 59 | 64 |





