








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 547 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1929 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4213 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2883 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2268 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,263,583 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DemonDeric | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Bl00d | 49% | 49 |
| #6 | Victor Jørgensen | 46% | 119 |
| #7 | shinjeirou | 45% | 121 |
| #8 | ♿︎ bwøah | 45% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿︎ bwøah | 853 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | DemonDeric | 278 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | KeFUri | 232 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Victor Jørgensen | 209 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | shinjeirou | 112 | 0.04 | 3 min |





