








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 31 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3438 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1757 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2144 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2044 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,073 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bl00d | 47% | 45 |
| #2 | DemonDeric | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | shinjeirou | 46% | 105 |
| #4 | Victor Jørgensen | 46% | 81 |
| #5 | KeFUri | 45% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DemonDeric | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | shinjeirou | 46% | 105 |
| #4 | Victor Jørgensen | 46% | 81 |
| #5 | KeFUri | 45% | 144 |
| #6 | GoingZebra40 | 45% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoingZebra40 | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | shinjeirou | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | KeFUri | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Victor Jørgensen | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Bl00d | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoingZebra40 | 341 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | DemonDeric | 214 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | KeFUri | 207 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Victor Jørgensen | 138 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | shinjeirou | 85 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoingZebra40 | +2.63 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | Victor Jørgensen | -0.18 | 67 | 55 |
| #3 | KeFUri | -0.26 | 78 | 48 |
| #4 | shinjeirou | -0.50 | 62 | 40 |
| #5 | ♿︎ bwøah | -0.74 | 74 | 62 |





