








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2862 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1742 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2165 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1578 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $315,918 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KeFUri | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | Binksy | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | shinjeirou | 49% | 99 |
| #4 | GoingZebra40 | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Victor Jørgensen | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | shinjeirou | 49% | 99 |
| #4 | GoingZebra40 | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Victor Jørgensen | 49% | 49 |
| #6 | ♿︎ bwøah | 46% | 71 |
| #7 | Bl00d | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shinjeirou | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | ♿︎ bwøah | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Binksy | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | GoingZebra40 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Victor Jørgensen | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿︎ bwøah | 236 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | GoingZebra40 | 125 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Binksy | 104 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | KeFUri | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | shinjeirou | 90 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoingZebra40 | +3.71 | 90 | 52 |
| #2 | shinjeirou | +0.50 | 63 | 45 |
| #3 | Victor Jørgensen | -0.31 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | KeFUri | -0.67 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | ♿︎ bwøah | -0.74 | 77 | 64 |





