








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 325 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2495 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2677 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2205 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2193 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,457,982 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 893 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | delRE | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | Cucumber | 46% | 238 |
| #3 | Whirlys | 44% | 88 |
| #4 | DREEMY | 43% | 44 |
| #5 | maria | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Whirlys | 44% | 88 |
| #4 | DREEMY | 43% | 44 |
| #5 | maria | 37% | 67 |
| #6 | Paradox | 34% | 50 |
| #7 | urban | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whirlys | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Cucumber | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | maria | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Paradox | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | urban | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paradox | 288 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #2 | Cucumber | 148 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | delRE | 141 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Whirlys | 136 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | DREEMY | 121 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cucumber | +6.70 | 63 | 52 |
| #2 | Whirlys | +3.60 | 72 | 48 |
| #3 | delRE | +3.13 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | DREEMY | +2.30 | 70 | 56 |
| #5 | urban | +0.19 | 56 | 49 |





