








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2201 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1914 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1173 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1778 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,137 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maximus | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | HINANO | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | rules | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Nachtz | 51% | 99 |
| #5 | ToFu | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nachtz | 51% | 99 |
| #5 | ToFu | 49% | 75 |
| #6 | haerin | 45% | 97 |
| #7 | Zzzzz ❤💙💛 | 45% | 67 |
| #8 | ✪John sybau | 45% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haerin | 12 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Zzzzz ❤💙💛 | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Nachtz | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ✪John sybau | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ToFu | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪John sybau | 231 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Nachtz | 220 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | ToFu | 213 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Zzzzz ❤💙💛 | 182 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | haerin | 152 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maximus | +3.08 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | cannyS | +1.81 | 59 | 75 |
| #3 | Nachtz | +1.06 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | rules | +0.82 | 50 | 59 |
| #5 | Zzzzz ❤💙💛 | +0.11 | 59 | 47 |





