








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1136 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1447 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 957 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1378 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,031 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Re5pect | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Algor1Tmus | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | Popetallica CHIRURGU | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | WEEDsFed|GER| | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | Hansi Flick | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Popetallica CHIRURGU | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | WEEDsFed|GER| | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | Hansi Flick | 38% | 24 |
| #6 | N0rTeX#1 | 35% | 23 |
| #7 | BJENK | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BJENK | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | WEEDsFed|GER| | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Re5pect | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hansi Flick | 111 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | BJENK | 67 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | WEEDsFed|GER| | 55 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Popetallica CHIRURGU | 39 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | N0rTeX#1 | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Re5pect | +3.83 | 93 | 62 |
| #2 | Popetallica CHIRURGU | +2.22 | 87 | 76 |
| #3 | FULL TILT | +0.48 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | N0rTeX#1 | +0.43 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | WEEDsFed|GER| | -0.23 | 71 | 67 |





