








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 950 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1095 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 996 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1355 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $572,827 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toan | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Juxtaism | 74% | 35 |
| #3 | mdiN- | 68% | 25 |
| #4 | lind | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | Lego | 67% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | VSN | 50% | 18 |
| #15 | WEEDsFed|GER| | 38% | 29 |
| #16 | BJENK | 36% | 44 |
| #17 | FULL TILT | 35% | 23 |
| #18 | Hansi Flick | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hansi Flick | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | WEEDsFed|GER| | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Conrick | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Igel^ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | mooZ^ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conrick | 377 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | mooZ^ | 183 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Hansi Flick | 181 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | BJENK | 96 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | mdiN- | 91 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toan | +2.28 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | Conrick | +1.96 | 81 | 76 |
| #3 | Lenny | +1.37 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | mdiN- | +1.36 | 72 | 73 |
| #5 | N0rTeX#1 | +1.11 | 82 | 56 |





