








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1485 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1863 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2134 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,644,160 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flacks | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | ✪ Vivalaetnies aka Snusgod | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Schmenuel ツ | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Burrito Katze | 8 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | boehmiboYY | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmenuel ツ | +2.22 | 81 | 46 |
| #2 | ¯\_(Aipic)_/¯ | +1.40 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | Kswish | +1.26 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | ✯𝕎𝟜𝕚𝕧𝟛𝕝𝕥✯ | +1.07 | 67 | 54 |
| #5 | Flacks | +1.04 | 79 | 49 |





