








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2340 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2268 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3377 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2083 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $906,891 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grim Reaper | 57% | 141 |
| #2 | Schmenuel ツ | 56% | 64 |
| #3 | Flacks | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | D A W G | 53% | 76 |
| #5 | Kswish | 51% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Flacks | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | D A W G | 53% | 76 |
| #5 | Kswish | 51% | 208 |
| #6 | boehmiboYY | 41% | 147 |
| #7 | LMNT | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kswish | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | boehmiboYY | 16 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Grim Reaper | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Flacks | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Schmenuel ツ | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kswish | 586 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | boehmiboYY | 439 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | D A W G | 175 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Flacks | 138 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Schmenuel ツ | 69 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flacks | +2.70 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | Grim Reaper | +2.34 | 70 | 42 |
| #3 | Schmenuel ツ | +1.49 | 82 | 43 |
| #4 | Kswish | +1.31 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | D A W G | -0.63 | 63 | 61 |





