








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 446 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1655 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1371 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1755 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,102,956 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desert fox | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Nickilegs | 59% | 85 |
| #3 | SayWut| | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | hob0 | 54% | 111 |
| #5 | DaiLo | 47% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaiLo | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Nickilegs | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | toasT | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | SayWut| | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | A^2 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickilegs | 322 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | hob0 | 217 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mars | 181 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | A^2 | 122 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | toasT | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waulkie | +9.41 | 88 | 51 |
| #2 | Waulk | +8.25 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | Desert fox | +3.41 | 76 | 51 |
| #4 | A^2 | +2.81 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | Schuetz | +2.67 | 86 | 62 |





