








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 966 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 367 matches | ||
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4682 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4361 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5054 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4541 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,165,177 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiwi! | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Cicilie505 | 55% | 366 |
| #3 | DoubleHagen | 54% | 358 |
| #4 | Cooper ™ | 53% | 425 |
| #5 | Abbendopop | 53% | 339 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoubleHagen | 42 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Abbendopop | 32 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | XXXPeterK | 32 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Cicilie505 | 23 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Carl Breeezer | 19 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cooper ™ | 680 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #2 | Cicilie505 | 656 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #3 | DoubleHagen | 527 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #4 | Carl Breeezer | 482 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #5 | Abbendopop | 427 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cicilie505 | +4.56 | 95 | 62 |
| #2 | -SR01- | +1.28 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | Matr1x2k ❤ | +1.12 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | Cooper ™ | +0.71 | 87 | 65 |
| #5 | Kiwi! | -0.09 | 76 | 65 |





