








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 215 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3895 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2941 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2494 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4564 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2247 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,764,035 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiwi! | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Cicilie505 | 56% | 220 |
| #3 | Cooper ™ | 55% | 222 |
| #4 | Abbendopop | 54% | 185 |
| #5 | DoubleHagen | 53% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoubleHagen | 28 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Abbendopop | 25 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Matr1x2k ❤ | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | XXXPeterK | 17 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Cicilie505 | 13 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matr1x2k ❤ | 633 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #2 | Cicilie505 | 448 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Cooper ™ | 390 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Abbendopop | 310 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | DoubleHagen | 288 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cicilie505 | +4.61 | 95 | 61 |
| #2 | Matr1x2k ❤ | +0.94 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | Cooper ™ | +0.93 | 89 | 66 |
| #4 | Kiwi! | +0.70 | 81 | 62 |
| #5 | Carl Breeezer | +0.39 | 64 | 62 |





