








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 539 | 22% |
| Smokes | 491 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 826 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 584 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $468,808 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LITERAL GARBAGE | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Malexic | csgoroll.com | 60% | 58 |
| #3 | grapplee | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | LargeEdition | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | < blank > | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 26yards | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | 1/1000中国人 | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | Polar | 29% | 14 |
| #10 | MosquitoKing | 22% | 9 |
| #11 | MonkeyKing | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malexic | csgoroll.com | 10 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | LargeEdition | 5 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | BROWN1E | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Polar | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | < blank > | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malexic | csgoroll.com | 258 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | BROWN1E | 71 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | < blank > | 67 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | LargeEdition | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Polar | 51 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LITERAL GARBAGE | +4.03 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | < blank > | +2.48 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | Malexic | csgoroll.com | +2.24 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | grapplee | +1.89 | 84 | 57 |
| #5 | MosquitoKing | +1.15 | 76 | 42 |





