








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1340 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1255 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 993 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1315 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,666 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deso | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Kolsy | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Vulcan | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | disjustin | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | hyena | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deso | 191 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | cubed | 167 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vulcan | 137 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kolsy | 101 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | ZEKE ZEKE | 84 | 0.47 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quesakilla | +1.77 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Just Dodge | +1.67 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | hyena | +1.46 | 80 | 72 |
| #4 | D1abetic | +1.32 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | Vulcan | +1.03 | 80 | 72 |





