








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5512 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3057 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3061 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2667 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,117 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flukeyy | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | AnAkaSeraph | 49% | 77 |
| #3 | waz | 45% | 305 |
| #4 | WillynelsoNZ | 42% | 368 |
| #5 | macca | 34% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flukeyy | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | AnAkaSeraph | 49% | 77 |
| #3 | waz | 45% | 305 |
| #4 | WillynelsoNZ | 42% | 368 |
| #5 | macca | 34% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waz | 26 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | WillynelsoNZ | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | AnAkaSeraph | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | macca | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waz | 1078 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | WillynelsoNZ | 762 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #3 | macca | 306 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | AnAkaSeraph | 184 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Flukeyy | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flukeyy | +3.13 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | waz | +2.53 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | WillynelsoNZ | -0.02 | 48 | 57 |
| #4 | Jbird | -0.21 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | AnAkaSeraph | -0.92 | 45 | 55 |





