








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1197 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1853 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 772 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1411 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $679,842 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyrowaste | 78% | 27 |
| #2 | Stinky Bee Gollom | 55% | 103 |
| #3 | ♥ Floppy Boi1 ♥ | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | yung bruh :3 | 51% | 63 |
| #5 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 50% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | yung bruh :3 | 51% | 63 |
| #5 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 50% | 177 |
| #6 | ♥ fangirl ♥ | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | rangawithanafro | 45% | 76 |
| #8 | G-MAN | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 28 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | rangawithanafro | 13 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | yung bruh :3 | 12 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | ♥ Floppy Boi1 ♥ | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | ♥ fangirl ♥ | 5 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 363 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | yung bruh :3 | 155 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | rangawithanafro | 108 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pyrowaste | 94 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | ♥ Floppy Boi1 ♥ | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ JackCoffee ♥ | +3.08 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | Pyrowaste | +1.10 | 64 | 69 |
| #3 | G-MAN | +1.01 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | rangawithanafro | +0.45 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | Stinky Bee Gollom | +0.13 | 47 | 32 |





