








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2032 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1699 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1751 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1562 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,068 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broccoli Bill | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | DuffM44n | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | ♥ fangirl ♥ | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Stinky Bee Gollom | 51% | 80 |
| #5 | yung bruh :3 | 51% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♥ Floppy Boi1 ♥ | 49% | 55 |
| #8 | ♥ JackCoffee ♥ | 45% | 76 |
| #9 | kyan | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | G-MAN | 38% | 26 |
| #11 | ♥ American Boy Chad ♥ | 19% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 41 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | yung bruh :3 | 20 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | ♥ JackCoffee ♥ | 14 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | ♥ Floppy Boi1 ♥ | 11 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | ♥ American Boy Chad ♥ | 10 | 0.0192 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 296 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | yung bruh :3 | 239 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♥ JackCoffee ♥ | 203 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | ♥ Floppy Boi1 ♥ | 202 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | G-MAN | 136 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broccoli Bill | +3.74 | 50 | 68 |
| #2 | kyan | +3.34 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | ♥ JackCoffee ♥ | +3.00 | 93 | 53 |
| #4 | G-MAN | +2.74 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | Stinky Bee Gollom | +1.01 | 55 | 37 |





