








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 789 | 41% |
| Smokes | 462 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 549 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 114 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,620 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 640 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broccoli Bill | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | DuffM44n | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Stinky Bee Gollom | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | ♥ JackCoffee ♥ | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | rangawithanafro | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ♥ fangirl ♥ | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | kyan | 29% | 7 |
| #10 | G-MAN | 29% | 14 |
| #11 | Pyrowaste | 25% | 12 |
| #12 | ♥ American Boy Chad ♥ | 12% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 19 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | rangawithanafro | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | ♥ JackCoffee ♥ | 8 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | yung bruh :3 | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | ♥ American Boy Chad ♥ | 4 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 155 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | rangawithanafro | 123 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | yung bruh :3 | 101 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♥ JackCoffee ♥ | 97 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | G-MAN | 71 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyan | +6.02 | 41 | 57 |
| #2 | G-MAN | +4.53 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | ♥ JackCoffee ♥ | +3.27 | 93 | 59 |
| #4 | Broccoli Bill | +1.35 | 26 | 56 |
| #5 | rangawithanafro | +0.77 | 78 | 63 |





