








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




120 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8226 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8783 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6651 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4493 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,298,652 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 870 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shronkey | 130 | 0.0239 |
| #2 | Bean flicker | 51 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | XerpaK | 48 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | SpoonDogg | 40 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | nugg | 34 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nugg | 2052 | 0.22 | 54 min |
| #2 | Bean flicker | 1328 | 0.14 | 40 min |
| #3 | Shronkey | 822 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #4 | XerpaK | 548 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #5 | apollo | 515 | 0.14 | 13 min |





