








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1989 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 918 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




152 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9901 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9578 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 12148 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5453 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,014,470 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 862 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miguel | 58% | 77 |
| #2 | Oko | 54% | 204 |
| #3 | mio | 54% | 67 |
| #4 | nugg | 51% | 225 |
| #5 | XerpaK | 50% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bean flicker | 24 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | -𝕽𝖎𝖋𝖙- | 20 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | XerpaK | 16 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | nugg | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Oko | 12 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nugg | 1172 | 0.24 | 34 min |
| #2 | Bean flicker | 783 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #3 | -𝕽𝖎𝖋𝖙- | 597 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | Miguel | 509 | 0.31 | 13 min |
| #5 | Oko | 372 | 0.09 | 10 min |





