








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 770 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 549 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




116 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4712 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6653 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6774 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5950 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,050,177 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicofy | 59% | 79 |
| #2 | vaapukkamehu | 57% | 65 |
| #3 | AksuK00 | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | [RR] Rikonaattori | 53% | 322 |
| #5 | IsiSorsa ":D" | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [RR] Rikonaattori | 67 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Top G | 47 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Pyyttoni22 | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | TmTvn | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | jantterivy | 12 | 0.0020 |





