








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 882 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




154 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4313 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3769 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3572 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2903 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,341,045 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1908 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | less than three | 52% | 56 |
| #2 | falsed | 51% | 239 |
| #3 | Cheem1cal | 47% | 133 |
| #4 | Takamacha | 46% | 97 |
| #5 | Frank Kalivoda | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | less than three | 52% | 56 |
| #2 | falsed | 51% | 239 |
| #3 | Cheem1cal | 47% | 133 |
| #4 | Takamacha | 46% | 97 |
| #5 | Frank Kalivoda | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falsed | 162 | 0.0336 |
| #2 | Cheem1cal | 42 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Takamacha | 24 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | Frank Kalivoda | 17 | 0.0284 |
| #5 | less than three | 16 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falsed | 1122 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | Cheem1cal | 512 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Takamacha | 324 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | less than three | 113 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Frank Kalivoda | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falsed | +3.11 | 60 | 53 |
| #2 | Cheem1cal | +1.84 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | iloveroses539 | +0.93 | 73 | 51 |
| #4 | less than three | +0.48 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | Takamacha | -2.26 | 19 | 47 |





