








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 601 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5631 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5804 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3990 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5415 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,858,296 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pumzz* | 56% | 153 |
| #2 | e-rekt i guess. | 56% | 174 |
| #3 | xdroskix | 54% | 299 |
| #4 | W⭕⃤ T | 54% | 302 |
| #5 | $tat$yzygy | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | xdroskix | 54% | 299 |
| #4 | W⭕⃤ T | 54% | 302 |
| #5 | $tat$yzygy | 46% | 37 |
| #6 | ✘Giga✘☂ | 45% | 47 |
| #7 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Cheek-Clapper | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W⭕⃤ T | 40 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | e-rekt i guess. | 34 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | xdroskix | 20 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | $tat$yzygy | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Cheek-Clapper | 6 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xdroskix | 393 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | e-rekt i guess. | 275 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | W⭕⃤ T | 244 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Cheek-Clapper | 136 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Pumzz* | 93 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-rekt i guess. | +1.26 | 59 | 67 |
| #2 | xdroskix | +1.11 | 37 | 65 |
| #3 | Pumzz* | +0.35 | 43 | 63 |
| #4 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Cheek-Clapper | +0.23 | 36 | 75 |
| #5 | $tat$yzygy | -1.07 | 57 | 49 |





