








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 483 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 188 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6517 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6105 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5979 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5967 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,038,750 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | xdroskix | 46% | 104 |
| #6 | Corpus Masochist | 45% | 40 |
| #7 | Wββ€ T | 44% | 171 |
| #8 | Nat β‘ | 42% | 38 |
| #9 | e-rekt i guess. | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wββ€ T | 31 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | e-rekt i guess. | 9 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | xdroskix | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Pumzz* | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | salsa | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wββ€ T | 158 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #2 | xdroskix | 156 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nat β‘ | 96 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Black Man | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | e-rekt i guess. | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corpus Masochist | +1.92 | 28 | 32 |
| #2 | xdroskix | +1.14 | 33 | 65 |
| #3 | e-rekt i guess. | +1.07 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | Black Man | +0.66 | 38 | 64 |
| #5 | Β―\_(γ)_/Β― Cheek-Clapper | +0.58 | 34 | 71 |





