








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1364 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1333 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 953 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 950 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,964 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tooshka | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | Suome Bobi Rossi | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | eemeli | 45% | 58 |
| #4 | MiTäH! | 44% | 59 |
| #5 | Kuasimodo | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiTäH! | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | eemeli | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Kuasimodo | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eemeli | 215 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | MiTäH! | 174 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | tooshka | 168 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | ysimo | 125 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kuasimodo | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6 God Hennessy | +3.29 | 64 | 65 |
| #2 | Kuasimodo | +2.58 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | Suome Bobi Rossi | +1.20 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | ysimo | -0.24 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | eemeli | -1.13 | 59 | 44 |





