








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1671 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1956 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2434 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1987 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,325 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 569 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ysimo | 54% | 93 |
| #2 | hachiko | 53% | 144 |
| #3 | lil baby | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | Suome Bobi Rossi | 50% | 101 |
| #5 | Kuasimodo | 48% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hachiko | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ysimo | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Kuasimodo | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | eemeli | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Suome Bobi Rossi | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hachiko | 614 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | ysimo | 403 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | tooshka | 362 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | eemeli | 341 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | 6 God Hennessy | 207 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil baby | +4.28 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | 6 God Hennessy | +3.47 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | hachiko | +3.23 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | Kuasimodo | +1.71 | 87 | 55 |
| #5 | ysimo | +1.61 | 81 | 73 |





