








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1308 | 49% |
| Smokes | 512 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 386 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,968 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CEO OF GETTING FRIEND ZONED | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Swig | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Я лижу задницу св | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Looperlord | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Clarence | 5 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Я лижу задницу св | +2.35 | 82 | 37 |
| #2 | Terra Agnew | +2.07 | 72 | 34 |
| #3 | Swig | +0.89 | 56 | 36 |
| #4 | Looperlord | +0.26 | 60 | 57 |
| #5 | Lucius | +0.12 | 63 | 28 |





