








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 444 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4742 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3629 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 8110 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 4256 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,675 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 891 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willy Wortel | 52% | 267 |
| #2 | Der Salzmeister 9000 | 52% | 128 |
| #3 | markuseg | 50% | 145 |
| #4 | Puffeltoff | 49% | 194 |
| #5 | Lucrian | 43% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markuseg | 312 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Willy Wortel | 298 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Lucrian | 268 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Der Salzmeister 9000 | 260 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | ATP | Tony | 231 | 0.06 | 5 min |





