








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3095 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4195 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2902 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2948 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,671,019 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Predator Agent | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Puffeltoff | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | markuseg | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ATP | Tony | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | SOYMILK FOREVER!!!!!!!! | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willy Wortel | +2.40 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Der Salzmeister 9000 | +1.66 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | markuseg | +1.37 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | undernerd | +0.96 | 55 | 57 |
| #5 | Puffeltoff | +0.71 | 35 | 56 |





