








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,938 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2651 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3013 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2376 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1898 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,446 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MartyBeans | 53% | 78 |
| #2 | JH | 52% | 218 |
| #3 | EW | 48% | 142 |
| #4 | Fizzle | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MartyBeans | 53% | 78 |
| #2 | JH | 52% | 218 |
| #3 | EW | 48% | 142 |
| #4 | Fizzle | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 27 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | EW | 19 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | MartyBeans | 14 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Fizzle | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 533 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | EW | 315 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | MartyBeans | 144 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fizzle | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | +4.21 | 92 | 55 |
| #2 | MartyBeans | +1.45 | 76 | 45 |
| #3 | EW | -0.28 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | Fizzle | -1.58 | 56 | 43 |
| #5 | Speedy | -2.11 | 39 | 60 |





