








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5427 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5161 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4571 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3252 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,307,474 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speedy | 52% | 218 |
| #2 | MartyBeans | 52% | 141 |
| #3 | EW | 50% | 309 |
| #4 | Fizzle | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speedy | 52% | 218 |
| #2 | MartyBeans | 52% | 141 |
| #3 | EW | 50% | 309 |
| #4 | Fizzle | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EW | 33 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Speedy | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | MartyBeans | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Fizzle | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EW | 623 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Speedy | 468 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | MartyBeans | 249 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fizzle | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | +2.67 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | MartyBeans | +0.30 | 75 | 50 |
| #3 | EW | -0.63 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Fizzle | -2.64 | 45 | 44 |
| #5 | Speedy | -2.75 | 39 | 58 |





