








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4088 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2190 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3659 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3256 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,280,680 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 712 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 50% | 309 |
| #2 | Fizzle | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | MartyBeans | 48% | 158 |
| #4 | Speedy | 48% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 50% | 309 |
| #2 | Fizzle | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | MartyBeans | 48% | 158 |
| #4 | Speedy | 48% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 32 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | MartyBeans | 27 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Speedy | 18 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Fizzle | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 951 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Speedy | 363 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | MartyBeans | 304 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fizzle | 75 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | +2.47 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | MartyBeans | +0.37 | 75 | 47 |
| #3 | EW | -0.17 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | Speedy | -2.23 | 38 | 59 |
| #5 | Fizzle | -2.45 | 46 | 44 |





