








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 121 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 214 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2463 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2641 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3749 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2777 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,554,834 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 851 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pip | 49% | 423 |
| #2 | ed | 48% | 210 |
| #3 | RJ | 48% | 347 |
| #4 | smithers | 47% | 293 |
| #5 | : ) | 44% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pip | 49% | 423 |
| #2 | ed | 48% | 210 |
| #3 | RJ | 48% | 347 |
| #4 | smithers | 47% | 293 |
| #5 | : ) | 44% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smithers | 39 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | RJ | 24 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | : ) | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | pip | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ed | 9 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RJ | 988 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | : ) | 802 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | smithers | 685 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #4 | pip | 664 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #5 | ed | 380 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pip | +2.36 | 61 | 63 |
| #2 | RJ | +1.84 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | ed | +1.62 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | smithers | -0.80 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | : ) | -0.92 | 59 | 65 |





