








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2923 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2711 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3255 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1439 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,153 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ed | 45% | 184 |
| #2 | snakey | 44% | 223 |
| #3 | pip | 44% | 254 |
| #4 | RJ | 42% | 233 |
| #5 | smithers | 39% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ed | 45% | 184 |
| #2 | snakey | 44% | 223 |
| #3 | pip | 44% | 254 |
| #4 | RJ | 42% | 233 |
| #5 | smithers | 39% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snakey | 21 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | smithers | 21 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | RJ | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | ed | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | pip | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RJ | 733 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | pip | 449 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | snakey | 423 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | smithers | 396 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | ed | 342 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pip | +2.01 | 59 | 65 |
| #2 | RJ | +1.75 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | ed | +1.03 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | smithers | -0.80 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | : ) | -1.15 | 59 | 66 |





