








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 900 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4005 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4429 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6371 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3904 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,634,067 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 643 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RJ | 49% | 441 |
| #2 | snakey | 49% | 423 |
| #3 | ed | 48% | 238 |
| #4 | smithers | 47% | 403 |
| #5 | : ) | 44% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RJ | 49% | 441 |
| #2 | snakey | 49% | 423 |
| #3 | ed | 48% | 238 |
| #4 | smithers | 47% | 403 |
| #5 | : ) | 44% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smithers | 51 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | snakey | 35 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | RJ | 29 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | : ) | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ed | 11 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RJ | 1224 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #2 | smithers | 952 | 0.11 | 27 min |
| #3 | : ) | 944 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #4 | snakey | 677 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #5 | ed | 438 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RJ | +1.81 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | pip | +1.56 | 61 | 63 |
| #3 | ed | +1.38 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | smithers | -0.78 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | : ) | -1.10 | 59 | 66 |





